The Quarter-Life Breakthrough.. Or Lack Thereof

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Disclaimer: this is a poorly written, poorly edited rant about life. You’ve been warned.

I’ve really been struggling to get through this book. I’ve given up on it at least 5 times before even getting halfway through… And yet, I keep coming back thinking maybe I’m just resisting something and perhaps there I can at least get something from this book. So far, I’ve mainly gotten frustration.

Here’s what I got:
Figure out what your gifts/talents are, how you want to use said gifts, and basically just do it. Essentially the same yada yada you get from most motivational/career change books. Even though time and again he says he doesn’t want to sound like all those “follow you passion!” life coaches. Well, sorry, but that’s all I’ve been getting out of this.
It all keeps coming back to the same general gist of, find a way you can use your gifts in a way you find satisfactory and do that thing.. so long as it supplies an income that you can live off of. This is the point where I stopped listening. No shit, Sherlock. All other points start to become moot to me when the message essentially becomes “follow your passion, so long as there is money in it.” That’s useless, I’m sorry, but it is. And it implies there are just plenty of jobs out there for the taking. Maybe in D.C. and San Fran, where this author was/is based, but in NE Ohio, where we have big corporate chains galore, little local business, crap jobs that barely pay above minimum wage, manual labor in an unstable steel industry, or the other extreme of straight up professional whathaveyou (doctor, lawyer, etc).

My husband and I have both been looking for better job prospects for two solid years. Neither of us currently using our bachelors degree, and neither of us are currently in a position that promises any job growth. The obvious response has been “go back to school,” but that’s really not so easily done considering we have to work to live, school costs an arm, leg, plus your unborn child, and we already have a large sum of money in student loans. Then with the added bonus of no guarantee of a job upon receiving a Masters degree in God only knows what. For me, it was the possibility of going back to school to be a librarian… but it just doesn’t feel worth the cost of a title in a state/nation that doesn’t feel funding public libraries is their responsibility. Cuz you know, who needs a safe, free place to get books, use a public computer, study, take classes, explore new interests etc etc?

I digress. My point is, it’s fine and dandy to spend time considering your gifts/talents and how you want to use them (if you’re the kind of person that has the kind of confidence to say I’m good at this that and the other, of which I am not) but actually applying that to your life and making changes based on those things feels damn near impossible to me right now. Yes, I get that everything requires work and fighting for what you want. but what about when you have no fucking clue what it is you even want? Or when you apply and interview for about 7 different jobs, some of which truly excite you, and each and every time you get turned down, presumably, or at least in part, for lack of experience. We can’t gain that experience when no one gives us a shot.  Perhaps I’m far too negative, and my own lack of self-esteem when it comes to my “gifts,” my own inability to sell myself is my own down fall. But for fuck’s sake it gets depressing after awhile.

So, in lieu of making a list of my gifts, how I want to apply them, in what community, and what lifestyle I’d like to live, I’ve been thinking more in terms of what I would like out of life vs. what I’ve currently got.

What I’d like:

  • A job where I give a rat’s ass, especially one where I get paid a halfway respectable wage.
  • A place Hubs and I can actually afford to live in, and still be able to save a few dollars.
  • The option to at least talk about starting a family in the near-ish future. Just even feeling comfortable enough financially to consider having that conversation.
  • Time to be all homely/housewife-y. I know, how 50’s TV family of me.
  • Time, money and energy to invest in my own well being, ie. eat right, work out, etc.
  • Security. Enough so to make any given sort of leap towards progress.

What I’ve got:

  • A husband I love.
  • A husband who takes a lot of shit at work where he isn’t paid nearly enough for taking said shit.
  • A part-time job that I mostly enjoy, but pays negligibly more than Ohio’s minimum wage. (It used to be two part-time jobs, but people are assholes and the stress of dealing with them was making life a million times worse. AKA, an extra $70 a week was absolutely not worth being yelled at in a movie theater box office.)
  • A borrowed space in my brother’s house that we sometimes remember to pay “rent” for.
  • No time or money to go back to school to maybe get a better job.
  • No real marketable skills, IMO
  • Only a few months of health insurance left before I’m too old for my dad to keep paying for it. AKA a few months until I need to find another option that is even remotely affordable.

Okay, so now this post has just become a negative downward spiral, but this is where I’m at right now y’all. And I mean no offense to Mr. Poswolsky, it’s nothing against his book, I’m sure there are plenty of people that found his writing insightful and/or helpful. I can agree with, nod my head along to, and appreciate plenty of the things he says, but it all feels a bit shallow, privileged and entitled.. Maybe things are different when you live in a big city, share a house with half a dozen people and don’t have a significant other to factor into your “leaping to new lily pads.”
The intro was the most “inspiring” part at first, and in retrospect I realized why: he’s stroking the ego of millennials, claiming we’re different from previous generations  because we desire for our work to have purpose. On first pass, I felt like “Oh, I can totally get this! I would so much rather work for a cause I believe in than make more money doing something I despise.” But on second thought, I really don’t think that is a generation thing, I think that is a personality/personal values type issue that has existed for generations. My generation just has a plethora of more options (in some senses) than previous generations. And while I agree the my generation does tend to get dissed a lot, I still don’t think we’re all that different from the others. (Plus, it’s the older generation’s fault we are this way, they made us what we are *insert childish, sassy raspberry blowing here*)

All in all, I think I’m officially adding this book to my DNF list. Just while working on this rant I picked up two more times and just couldn’t do it. I don’t know what I expected to gain from this book, and maybe that was my own fault from the start. But now I’ve used it as an excuse to whine on the internet about my current frustrations with life. So whatever. Sorry, I’m not really sorry.

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Remember boys and girls:

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I really miss Craig Ferguson doing lat night. 
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2 thoughts on “The Quarter-Life Breakthrough.. Or Lack Thereof

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